Radically Open Relating
A Costa Rica Retreat for Non-Traditional Relationships
Cascada Elysiana · March 2–9, 2025
Most people never experience the depth of love that is possible through radically open relating.
Many of us were raised practicing strategies to get our needs met in imperfect environments, not raised to foster relationships that nurture mutual self-awareness, full self-expression, and non-withholding.
Radically Open Relating is a set of techniques designed to give us alternatives to the strategy-based relating that often develops in the vulnerable minds of early childhood. By becoming conscious of those old strategies, acknowledging the ways they’ve served us, and choosing when to use them and when to do otherwise, we find our way to a deeper and healthier form of relating.
This is a workshop designed for people who have already decided to cast-off much of what we are conditioned to believe a “proper relationship” looks like: a time to practice proven approaches that lead to more ease and depth in relating. Through unlearning what’s been put upon us by others, and through reconnecting and aligning with our authentic selves, we can create fulfilling relationships that were previously unimaginable to us.
This retreat is for anyone wanting to learn how to foster and nurture relationships based in love, not fear, and is especially suited for those drawn to non-traditional relationships, from ethical non-monogamy to configurations that defy labels. There is no preferred format and no gold star for fitting a mold. The common thread is a desire to relate with more honesty, more choice, and more aliveness.
For one week in the Costa Rican jungle, we will explore:
How to tell the truth about what you want, even when it feels risky
How to stay with jealousy, anger, fear, and grief without shutting down or exploding
How to relate from self-respect rather than self-abandonment
How to use embodied practice and expanded states of consciousness to listen more deeply to yourself and to each other
This is not a retreat where anyone claims to be an expert on every form of non-traditional relationship. Tony, Avery, and Dan are experienced in something different: creating containers for embodied honesty, somatic awareness, and peer-led exploration. We will invite guest contributors with lived experience in different relational structures, and together we will build a temporary community where it is normal to speak openly about desire, limits, fear, and longing.
What this retreat is about
An unforgettable week of self-exploration, honesty, and intimacy in the jungle.
Over six days of sessions, you will be invited to:
Notice patterns of self-sabotage and disconnection that keep you isolated, even when you are surrounded by people, and see how those patterns can actually serve you.
Move toward interdependence, rather than swinging between co-dependence and hyper-independence
Appreciate and accept yourself and others for who you are, not who you think you “should” be
Grieve old hurts and current struggles so you stop dragging them into every future relationship
Cultivate a growth mindset for yourself and your relationships
Learn the real dance of contact and withdrawal by simply naming what is happening for you right now
Our aim is to support you in re-contextualising your relationships around helping one another be who you genuinely want to be, while also acknowledging the parts of you that are not always in alignment with that vision.
We want you to have relationships that feel honest and alive. This retreat is our way of helping you move toward that.
The five movements of the week
Each day will have a simple theme that we will post prominently and return to in practice and reflection.
Each day will also include a small number of Life Stories. One person shares the real texture of their life and relationships for thirty minutes, and then receives focused support, reflection, and “hot seat” work from the group and facilitators. These become powerful mirrors for everyone in the room.The workshop follows five core movements that build on each other:
Noticing Self
Building a foundation of self-awareness, especially around subconscious and exiled parts. Seeing more clearly how your nervous system, your history, and your unspoken beliefs shape the way you relate.Accepting Self
Practicing self-acceptance, not as a prerequisite for openness, but as something that grows through non-withholding. You tell the truth, you survive it, and slowly you learn to be with yourself as you are.Accepting Anger
Making room for anger, resentment, and disappointment. Learning to express them cleanly and to stay in contact through the vulnerability that follows.What We Want
Getting real about what you want when you are not simply running away from self-delusion, resentment, shame, or fear.Compromise Without Sacrifice
Exploring how to merge your wants with the wants of others without losing sense of yourself. Practicing what compromise looks like without subjugation.
Throughout, we will treat grief as a teacher: grief over past relationships, over parts of yourself you have hidden, over futures that did not happen.
Daily themes
Each day will have a simple theme that we will post prominently and return to in practice and reflection:
Owning Projections
Dream analysis often calls us to acknowledge that all characters in our dreams are parts of our psyche. We’ll explore Anais Nin’s suggestion that in waking life too, “We don’t see the world as it is, but as we are.”No Explanations
Experimenting with dropping explanations of “why.” Staying with what is happening right now, inside you, and noticing what becomes possible when you stop justifying and conceptualizing.Being Petty
Allowing yourself to be exactly as petty, jealous, scared, or needy as you actually are, out loud. Letting the “unacceptable” parts speak, instead of leaking out sideways.Question Our Questions
Getting curious about how questions can protect you from vulnerability. Asking yourself, “What am I avoiding revealing about myself when I focus on you instead?”Admitting Everything
Practicing saying the thing you normally edit out. Naming expectations, even the ones that feel unreasonable. Asking for more than you think you are allowed to want.I Am Okay, You Are Okay
Letting it be okay when you are not okay, and okay when someone else is not okay. Practicing adaptation and presence instead of rushing in to fix.
Each day will also include a small number of Life Stories. One person shares the real texture of their life and relationships for thirty minutes, and then receives focused support, reflection, and “hot seat” work from the group and facilitators. These become powerful mirrors for everyone in the room.
A week in the jungle
Arrival day
Sunday, March 2
Arrive at Cascada Elysiana and settle into your room
Evening welcome dinner
Opening circle, brief introductions, logistics Q&A
You are welcome to arrive this day at no extra accommodation cost. It is a soft landing so you can drop in before the deeper work begins.
Program days
Monday, March 3 – Saturday, March 8
A typical day will look like:
8:00 am Optional stretching and breathwork
8:30 am Breakfast
10:00 am – 1:00 pm Morning workshop session
1:00 – 2:00 pm Lunch
2:00 – 5:30 / 6:00 pm Afternoon session
6:30 pm Dinner
7:30 pm Ceremony and/or Optional Peer-led workshops
Across the week, you can expect:
A day that includes a waterfall excursion on the land and an evening inner-journey space
Several days of deep workshops, partner and small-group exercises, and embodied honesty practices
A small number of intensified inner-journey evenings for those who choose to participate, with intentional grounded alternatives for those who prefer to stay in ordinary states
A closing day on Saturday that gathers the threads of the week into shared reflection and a final circle by late afternoon
You will have time each day for rest, journaling, and quiet time in nature.
Departure
Sunday, March 9
Breakfast at the lodge
Slow goodbyes and departures throughout the morning
The Culture of this Retreat
Trying It On
For seven days, we will ask you to “try on” some unfamiliar ways of being. You are free to keep what works and let go of what does not at the end.
You will be invited to say things that feel risky, to name truths that you usually hide, and to practice new habits that can genuinely shift your relationships. That does not happen by staying in your old comfort zone.
New Habits
You are here to experience something new. We are here to support you in dropping defenses that block joy, intimacy, and connection, and in building habits that support your actual desires.
We will take care of the container, we will keep returning to consent and pacing, and we will orient to your nervous system, not just your ideas. Some of you are coaches or practitioners yourselves and have as much to offer this space as we do. You are still invited to set down your usual roles and be a participant first.
First New Habit: Being Self-Centered (On Purpose)
In this retreat, your job is to be self-centered in the healthiest sense.
You have full permission (and some responsibility) to focus on your own needs and wants. Your task is to get clear on them, speak them, and trust others to do the same. The goal, in part, is to stop avoiding yourself by over-focusing on everyone else.
If your needs conflict with someone else’s, they will say so. We will support them in that, and we will support you in staying with yourself. You do not need to anticipate or manage the group. That is our job.
In Your Body, Not Only Your Mind
You will not simply think differently about relationships, you will feel the difference in your muscles, breath, and bones. We will practice orienting to sensation, impulse, and posture, and you will have direct experiences of what shifts when you stop constantly negotiating your needs against imagined expectations.
Where we will be: Cascada Elysiana
The retreat takes place at Cascada Elysiana, an eco-resort seated in the valley of San Juan de Dios, near Dominical, in the Southern Pacific region of Costa Rica.
Think mind-blowingly beautiful jungle, a 190-foot waterfall a short hike away, creeks and small pools across the land, fresh air, fresh water, and meals that are prepared on site with care.
Sessions will happen primarily in a dedicated indoor space with air conditioning, with some practices and circles outside when weather and group energy allow. The land is hilly, with uneven paths and some steep climbs, so this retreat is unfortunately not wheelchair accessible.
Travel
Fly into Juan Santamaría International Airport (SJO) in San José
Cascada Elysiana is approximately 3.5 hours from the airport
A private taxi generally costs around USD 100–150 one way
We will support participants in coordinating shared rides where possible. With your consent, we will create a shared document so you can connect with others who arrive at similar times.
Renting a car is possible, but parking is limited, so we generally recommend shared taxis instead.
Accommodation and rates
Cascada Elysiana offers a range of options:
Shared rooms in a bunkhouse with shared compost toilets and outdoor showers
Private rooms in shared homes
Private glamping tents
Private cabins or homes with air conditioning
Pricing will vary by accommodation choice. As a general range, previous retreats at this venue have run from around USD 1,500 per person for shared bunkhouse options to around USD 3,200 per person for private homes with air conditioning.
Your retreat fee includes:
Seven nights of accommodation
Three vegetarian meals per day
All group sessions and workshops
Waterfall excursion and on-site activities
Not included:
Flights and travel insurance
Airport transfers
Any additional services you arrange directly with the retreat center or off-site
Final pricing, room options, and payment plans will be listed on the registration page.
Is this retreat right for me
This retreat is designed to be emotionally and relationally intense, in a good way. There will likely be tears, raised voices, silence, laughter, awkwardness, and relief. We will spend a lot of time staying present in our bodies and present with our own experiences. We will also spend time expressing and processing emotions, including sadness, resentment, fear, desire, and appreciation.
If you have significant, unaddressed trauma and are not currently receiving any therapeutic support, this may not be the right timing or format for you. If you are unsure, you are welcome to reach out so we can explore together whether this container feels appropriate.
How to join
If this retreat feels like it might be for you, the next step is to fill out our short interest form. This helps us understand who is seriously considering joining and ensures you receive updates, pricing, and next steps as they unfold.
You are also invited to join our virtual Q&A session on January 8, where you can ask anything about the retreat, the intensity of the work, or whether this container feels like a good fit for you and your partners.
If you have specific questions that you prefer to ask directly, you are welcome to email us:
retreat@averycollura.com
We would be honored to spend this week with you, your partners, and all the versions of you that come along.